I have two different people inside me fighting to take control. Sometimes i'm content just being the good boy...but the rebel just loves me and wont go away. Sometimes I want to leave everything and start over, but I just cant do it. No matter how much I want to there is something in me that wont let me.

I need to have two different identity's so I can do things I want to and not get in trouble with my "friends" and family. I need friends I can go out and drink with and do whatever. But everyone I know now would just make me feel guilty. I miss the days I worked at a coffee shop in Annapolis...I think about them a lot lately.

I just miss the days when I was the rebel and stayed out late with fun friends. I miss my old car and rush it gave me. I want so bad to feel alive again but i'm so numb. I miss being young and free. Guess thats why it's called "the old ball and chain"...

The sad thing is i'm only 24 and it souldn't be this way. Or wait...am I 25 now? But I can't give up and leave everyone...i'm too much of a good boy. So maybe i'm really just a good boy?? eh, i don't think so. So which one is the real me? Only time will tell I guess...

I'm discontent with the choices i've made.
I'd give everything I have to go back and change.
But i'll keep trudging on and get the grade.
I'll live my life and die insane.